Keeping the Wobbly Bits in Their Proper Place

The high-waist embrace brief from Donna Karan Shapewear comes in black, dark beige and dark teak. Photo courtesy of Donna Karan

“FRUGAL fatigue.” You have it? You know what it is, right? The condition – as defined by one of the commentators on CNBC's “Fast Money” – characterized by a weariness of being frugal and thus wanting to spend money. Of a great desire to pony up for something a bit more substantial than toothpaste and toilet paper. According to the “Fast Money” guy, many Americans are tired of T&T and crave SONY&DKNY&BMW&I-PHONE & the like. This being December, FF is probably taking a huge toll on lots of folk.

Yours Truly, on a strict money diet for many moons now, is not suffering from FF. But I would be remiss if I did not do my patriotic duty and lend a hand to my fellow Americans who are agitating to furiously and, no doubt, responsibly spend for the holidays. Over the next several days I will introduce a product (or brand) a day that I would buy for myself or someone else if I were spending (and could afford to, of course).

Let’s see, Gift No. 4:


Ladies (and some of you gentleman), may I have your attention, please? ’Tis always the season, which means that if you’re going to step out in that Ralph Lauren Blue Label metallic turtleneck dress (See Wednesday, 16 Dec.) and other form-fitting frocks, you do not – I repeat, do not – want to do so if showing are unsightly bulges, bumps, dimples and bodaciously visible lines. Absolutely. Not.

No worries, because between Donna Karen Shapewear and Spanx all of your problems are glossed over and smoothed out (no binding and gathering) with an abundance of undergarments infused with innovative materials that know how to handle amorphous thighs, hips, waists, guts, busts and butts, all the while leaving you feeling as if you're wearing a second skin. The result is a sleek, sexy, classy silhouette that is longer/leaner/leggier. One’s self-confidence is all the world will see, which is as it should be, no?

The various articles, costing anywhere from about $18 to $60, have been vetted by no less an authority than the Mighty O. (No doubt, it is clear to whom I refer.)

If I were choosing, I’d opt for DK simply out of familiarity and supreme customer satisfaction. The label has been taking care of my needs, albeit by way of Filene’s Basement, in the tights category for years. They are the best in fit and durability. There is no reason for me to believe that the shapewear won’t similarly deliver. Incidentally, the most expensive (20-something bucks at Saks Fifth Avenue) pair of pantyhose I have ever purchased (done so in a pinch) were DK. The fit is/was incredible. To this day (10 years later) they do not have a run in them ... I’m just sayin’.

Learn more about the lines at barenecessities.com or visit their respective Web sites at www.spanx.com and www.donnakaran.com (click on LIFESTYLE; in the drop-down menu click on HOISERY).